A Dream Come True: Even in 2020
Flashback to December 2019. I quit my job! The job I thought I would retire at. The job I had only returned to just less than two years prior. I had a solid plan of course. I'm a planner. It's what I do. But then...life just gets too "lifey" sometimes. And let me tell you...mental health is no friggin' joke, man. Mine had broken. It was time to finally take care of...gulp...Me.
My new plan unfolded before me. It came to me in bits and pieces as I was treading these new and difficult mental "waters" so to speak. It was crystal clear I had long lost issues I had to deal with to move on and be really okay again. So, I cashed out my little 401k balance I'd saved and set it aside for the long overdue therapy costs I now knew I so desperately needed. I would stop and think and listen to myself for a while. I was ready. I would get through the rest of the kids' school year going to therapy, spend a nice Summer at home with the kiddos and maybe, just maybe come September I would be in a healthy mental place and get to start really digging in and building the self-employment career I'd always dreamed of and previously tried for a time. I could do this! It would probably be a long and difficult journey but I thought to myself, Hey, I can finally get this going right. I can fix this and come out a stronger woman in the long run.
I called many counselors trying to find the right fit, worried I'd have to tell my story to too many strangers before I found "the one." Luckily, I found her pretty quickly and come early February 2020 I had my first real session. What a relief to start getting it all off of my chest!
And then what happens? Stupid COVID-19 goes down and the world goes all coo-koo bananas. Really?! Such is life, am I right? Anywho, come to find out virtual therapy is not "my thing." The things I needed to talk about were just too scary...and personal...and buried deep inside. I had just barely plucked up the courage to finally start dealing, only three sessions into this new and terrifying journey of mine. I couldn't bring myself to do it over the phone or through a computer screen. And...I mean, come on...how the heck was I gonna get that kind of "me time" in a full house with three little ones to look after, a work-from-home-hubby, a dog, two cats and everything else in between? I had to let it go for a while and hope this pandemic passed within a reasonable amount of time. Ha ha ha so funny I forgot to laugh. Hindsight is truly 20/20 ;-)
Since late February my family has been on a pretty strict quarantine. We were following the news and saw something not so great was headed our way. My husband and I thought long and hard about it and decided since I was home anyways we could take the chance and pull the kids out of school after February 28th. It was only two more weeks of school until spring break. We could take an extended "stay-cation" and that would give us a three week buffer to see if we truly got hit with a pandemic and to see how the powers that be would handle it. And oh boy, "handle it" they didn't. So there I was. No more routine. No more therapy. No more make-up. No more alarm clocks. No more getting dressed up for work or a night with friends or a rare date with the hubs. Diving deep into overdue home projects, deep cleaning housework, painting rooms, yard work and more. Our new life. Sigh.
And then one day I'm scrolling through Facebook for only the bazillionth time that week and I saw an opportunity. Oh my gosh! My favorite local photographer was having a little contest! Some lucky ladies were gonna win a fun little photoshoot with a killer new floral headpiece she had coming. I had dreamed of a pin-up shoot with Chrisit for years but it was just never in the cards for me. But this...this could be cool. Send an email to enter? I could do that. So I did. And I am so glad I did! Just what the doctor ordered! (Just kidding, my doctor didn't really order that...but they totally should!!! LOL What an incredible pick-me-up during a crazy time in my life! This should be a thing.)
It felt A-mazing! To get out of my jammies and feel like a woman again. To feel something special. To feel happy and understood after being down for so long. To just get out of the dang house and feel like one of the gals. I really missed that. I will treasure this experience forever. I will definitely be back for more shoots in the future. And now that my hubs has had a little peek...he's wondering when I'll try a boudoir shoot! HA! Don't worry, babe. Will do. Will. Do.
Christi & Lela...thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. You two do incredible work and I feel truly blessed to have had a day with you amazing ladies. Thank you for making me feel like me again. Hugs.
