In 2014, my grandma died and I inherited a little bit of money from her estate. I’d been unemployed off and on for about half of the previous four-ish years, so my plan was to use the money to pay down my credit card debt.
My mom vehemently disagreed with that. Sure, she said, I should do that with most of it but I had to spend at least a little bit on myself. "Do something fun with it!", she said. I bought myself a new entertainment center and a smart DVD player so I could stream things on my TV. My mom was not satisfied with this because "those were things you needed".
I pondered for a little bit. Something that would be fun? Something that would be just for me? I've gotta admit, after being in scrimping and denying myself mode for so long it was really hard to come up with anything.
When I was a teenager (in the 90s), Glamour Shots were very popular but we didn’t have the money for them. The only professional photographs I had of myself were my yearbook and school dance pictures. Maybe a couple from friend's weddings but I wasn't the focus in those photos. I had candid and other random photos but I never felt like I looked my best in them. Some were cute, some were awful, but mostly they were all just ok. I didn’t feel like I looked good in them. I figured I was just one of those people who wasn't very photogenic.
There’s a quote from When Gravity Fails by George Alec Effinger that I have always liked, "I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful, but I always look awful in the mirror. I keep myself going with the firm belief that my real face is much better looking." I thought maybe there was some alchemy to a good picture that I didn’t know but maybe hair and makeup done by someone other than myself would get me a good portion of the way there. I also think that posing your subject is a bit of an art that wasn’t really practiced by the school photographers I’d interacted with.
I had been looking into pin-up art/photographs off and on for quite a few years but it was a pipe dream. I knew I’d never been able to afford a photoshoot so I placed it in a not-for-me box in my head. I hadn’t even considered using my inheritance on it until my mom started challenging me to do something just for me. I had a major birthday (40!) coming up and so I rationalized it as my birthday present to myself.
I did a search and looked at a few of the photographers in the Minneapolis area and while a lot of them looked like fun and seemed reasonable as far as prices went, I found myself put-off with how the pin-up/boudoir shoots on their web site were marketed as being for a husband/boyfriend. That was one of the things that initially drew me to Grinkie Girls. Christi billed her shoots as empowering for the person doing them first and possible presents to wow your honey with a second.
I made an appointment. My private pin-up photo shoot to celebrate my 40th birthday was scheduled for July 30, 2015. When I talked to my mom on the 19th of July we talked a little about how exciting it was and how she couldn’t wait to see the pictures. She was very enthusiastic about the idea. I thought about how cool it might be to do a shoot sometime when she visited MN from TX if I decided that the shoot was worth it and fun.
On July 29th, I got a call around 2am. I’d been sort of expecting a call from my mom because one of my cousins was in the hospital dying of cancer. I didn’t catch it before it went to voice mail so I called my mom back. My stepdad answered. My mom had had a heart attack and died just an hour or so ago.
So instead of being pampered and having my photo taken, I spend July 30th traveling down to TX for my mom’s funeral. And then I went to TX again for my cousin’s funeral just a couple of weeks later. Christi had said to just contact her when I had dates in mind so I waited a bit and then rescheduled for September.
Honestly, it was awesome. I was still a little raw emotionally but Christi and Annie (who did hair and makeup) were both wonderful and got me through the day. My mom would have loved the pictures I got. At that time, one of the things you got with the photo shoot was a little accordion booklet with all your photos in it. I carried mine around in my purse/pocket for months and showed it to everyone I thought might have a passing interest in seeing pretty pictures of me. When a friend saw it he noted that while he thought the pictures themselves were very good, what he was mostly struck by was that he felt like Christi really captured me - my personality, who I am - and that wasn't something he saw all the time.
I discovered that for me at least, doing these photoshoots with Christi is as addictive as getting tattoos is for some people. Since that first shoot in 2015, I’ve signed up for a mini-shoot at least once a year (twice in 2019!). And I’ve already scheduled my private 2020 45th Birthday Shoot.
While I couldn't say that pin-up changed my life, it has changed things for me a little. I don't wear makeup or elaborate hair in my everyday life, but the dress collection in my wardrobe has gotten significantly bigger (and I actually wear them!). I've used vintage styles as an inspiration for cosplay for a local science fiction convention. I've gotten out of my comfort zone, met new people, made some friends and had a lot of fun. I'm really looking forward to seeing where it takes me.